Friday, April 8, 2011

Wanted: Decent Man

I'm actually having a lot of trouble processing this one so I'm hoping that this helps. I don't even know where to start. Like most young women I have some body issues, which I think is pretty "normal" these days especially with all of the images of perfection that are constantly bombarding us. I take good care of myself by exercising and eating well, but I'm hardly a supermodel. Being that I'm only 5'3" we would have to be in another dimension for that to occur. I try not to let my insecurities get in the way of living life. I still wear a bikini and dress within reason and despite how I feel about myself I am frequently told that I am "hot" by men. I don't necessarily agree, but I'll admit that it's nice to hear.

Recently a guy that I met on that dating site expressed concern over meeting me because of his prior experiences. He said that many of the girls he has met from the site seem to only put their best pictures on there- typically from the chest up. He mentioned how in two of my photos I looked extremely different (one was the red dress photo that some of you have seen). "I don't know what to tell you," I said to him knowing that both picture are of me and that nothing substantial has happened that would alter my physical appearance. Oh I wish I would just drop 10 pounds without noticing, but that has yet to happen and I would surely know if I gained 10 pounds. I told him that sometimes my hair is curly and sometimes it's straight and oddly it makes a difference in how I look. I told him that I don't wear the red dress everywhere I go and that's a "special" look for when I'm going to an event. On a normal day I may look different because getting dressed up takes a lot of energy. I work really hard to be where I am and that itself is frustrating. Now I have this guy who thinks I need to justify my physical appearance because he's had bad experiences- awesome.

Whatever I'm a confident girl. I sent him a recent photograph that I had taken with my family. I don't have many since I'm not self-obsessed. It showed me from top to bottom. He asked for it and I can't believe that I sent it. It amazes me how many times these guys act like I'm on a fricken interview like they're the Holy Grail. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I am an educated, successful, fun, entertaining, and good looking (I reviewed the photos myself) woman....who the hell are you again? How about you tell me that.

The interesting thing is that since I sent the picture I have barely heard from him. Wow! Does that mean that he considers me unacceptable? Well after a nice lunch with a friend that included discussing the situation I realized something....that conversation with him took place late at night ending around midnight....and he had admitted to having a few drinks. When I finally processed it I realized that he probably thought that I would send him a "picture" of myself and by that I don't mean a picture that included my family, but possibly one that included the family jewels. Uhhhhhh...I can't believe that I was so naive. Here I am beating myself up over some lame guy's opinion and then it hits me-he was just trying to get his late night jollies off me. This dating thing is so frustrating; where are all the decent men these days?

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