Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Don't bite the hand that feeds you!

It's amazing how quickly things can happen. This one is interesting. After picking myself up from the last hit I got back on my feet and ran into someone who looked appealing. It turns out this guy is also an instructor at a college so I thought we'd have a lot in common. This situation just proves that there is no correlation between myself and this individual who seems to work in the same profession as I do.

This man I met teaches English and Business courses and our conversation was completely through email and primarily text. I was interested in finding out who he is. Typically when I meet somebody new I try to keep the conversation light. Nobody wants a deep discussion initially- or at least I don't think so. In his email he said that it was best to text him and sent me his phone number. I was apprehensive because I've had issues with giving out my number before (don't worry I'll share later). I had already done some internet research on this guy so I decided to go for it.

In the text messages (I wish I saved all of them), I asked him to tell me about himself. He said that he was born and raised locally and has spent most of his life here. I told him that my story is pretty similar and then reinitiated conversation by asking what he did for work (I already knew, but he didn't know that). He said that he teaches at a local college (I won't say which one) and I responded by telling him that I do too and that I found it interesting to meet him because that doesn't typically happen. He asked if I was adjunct faculty (part time), which I know that he is. I told him that I recently was awarded a full time tenure track position which I am excited to have received. I asked him if he liked teaching and he said that he liked working in the private sector because they get more done. Since I have worked in both the private and public sector I agreed with him and asked why he wasn't working in the private sector then. He told me that the company where he had worked doing advertising downsized because they didn't meet their 4th quarter estimated earnings and therefore he was let go.

All of sudden the textersation took a crazy turn. He told me that the academic sector was uneventful and incapable of any progression because of the administration and unions, etc. and that I was young and therefore I didn't see it yet. Excuse me? Did he just go on a rant about the system that employs him and did he just assume I was "young" because of my age (he was 41, big deal!). I responded that I don't believe myself to be "young" and that I have experience in the private, public, and academic sectors including working in male dominated industries. Are you ready for this? He responded by saying "Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to impress me? Do you think I care? Wow, I bet this guy is wondering why he doesn't get laid very often.

I told him that I just didn't think that he had enough information (just my age) about me to project assumptions that I'm ignorant as to what goes on around me in a professional sense. He continued to berate me and at one point I decided to tell him that I had to go. He texted me again multiple times and here's what went down:

Him: Why don't you try not to be so sensitive? Deal with it Instead you retreat.

Me: I don't know you well enough to wish to take this any further.

Him: Of course you don't. You can't even have a discussion without getting offended. I'm sure every guy you've ever dated did everything you said or agreed with you all the time.

Me: Hahahahahhahahaha you're funny!

Him: How very dull. Possibly accounts for your bad experiences on match. Then again maybe your male colleagues at deanza might be to your liking. That us if they happen to be straight if not married. Which is doubtful

Me: Why are you trying to insult me?

Him: Insult you? I'm just making a suggestion based in the info you gave me and your very defensive reaction to my questions.

Me: Okay. Gotta go. Bye.

Him: U see. I do listen and remember what you say and write.

What planet is this dude from? Is this how men are supposed to speak to women they don't know? I thought they were supposed to sell themselves? Maybe that's why he lost his sales job. He doesn't seem to be very good at selling his most prized possession- himself.

I didn't respond. Actually I'm a little afraid of the guy he seems like a freak. He actually emailed me later in the night:

"Sorry you took offense at what I said, but I am a very direct person and I tend to speak my mind. And I've been both in industry and higher education for some considerable time. Aside from that, I am rather tired too from teaching this evening. So, that's my piece if you care to hear it or not. Salute"

Whatev's dude. You're a nutcase and should probably be a little more appreciative of the job you have.

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